Level 1 Formal Writing exemplars

This excellence essay is from the 2006 exam ... what do you think ?

Exploring space wastes money that would be better spent here on Earth.


I absolutely agree that exploring space wastes far too much money that can be used in much better ways on earth. There is no need to worry about things billions of kilometres away from us because humans are the greatest threat to themselves. There is so much poverty and war in the world and prices on everyday household items are rising.
People are losing jobs and families are deteriorating. The cost of education is too high. All of these problems can in some way be linked to the loss of money and spending trillions and trillions of dollars on things that don’t even benefit the earth in really any way, has got to be a complete waste of time, and of course money.

First let me talk about the worldwide poverty epidemic. More than one third of the world’s population live in places of extreme poverty and live on less than $1 a day. Just last year George Bush announced that he would be giving $1 trillion dollars to NASA so they could design a rocket that would get men to Mars. The cost of providing the whole world with clean fresh water, sanitary needs, sufficient food and health services is a total $80 billion dollars, not even 1% of the funding that George Bush gave to NASA. Also the American Navy receive $800 billion on firearms alone per year by the American Government. Only 10% of 1 year’s worth of that amount could rid the poverty problem. I think its down right stupid and horrible to think that more money is spent on rockets and guns than the people that actually live in the world, and make them.

Secondly the cost of education is getting ridiculously high. If more money was given to students through scholarships, benefits and even their jobs, rather than thrown away into space, life would be easier on students on families and even in schools themselves. Some people aren’t even able to attend schools because of the cost.

Thirdly household prices of everyday needs are becoming outrageously high and families wages are not. Parents these days both need to work to receive an income high enough to support their families because of cost of everyday things, such as petrol, food, and clothes. If more money was given and kept on the earth prices would lessen and life would be easier.

In conclusion exploring space is a complete waste of precious time and money. It could be put to so many great uses here on earth, but people are just spending more and more of it on things that are unnecessary like rockets and guns. If something isn’t done about this problem soon life is just going to get harder and harder.


Excellence 456 words